Just another child of God

[aljalot]

You ever feel like your just waking up from multiple dreams. All of them more crazy then the first one you had. That is my life and was untill i was waken. I was adopted at age 2 from brazil. I say this because for me this is where Gods handprints on my life start from a oh my stand point. You see i was adopted out of a poverished circumstance and brought into a blessed one. When i was younger i was held back because i didn't speak english well. I also was such an odd ball. I constantly was the class clown but people thought i was odd. I remeber countless nights of crying myself to sleep wondering why no body cared why noone wanted to invite me to there birthday party. My mom called all the parents of the kids with the parties and told them how hurt i was. Also i remeber the birthday parites i had were big and glamours as if to draw people to come and get to know me for all the wrong reasons. As a coping method to all of this my parents emphisized the idea of reading to me. And i took to it with extreme facination. I became a wizard or a night or somone who although wasn't liked ethier was somone brilliant. I excelled at reading there by bumping up my vocabulary. I could amuse adults by my abiltiy to communicate at them. In a way i decided to switch age groups and hopefully find some recongition outside of a group that already had found me wierd. I also delved to a deep facination with magic. Witchcraft as if this should surpize anyone. I wanted to change my cirumstance to feel that i held somthing powerfull. I thought for the longest time i controlled the wind. And it still hold a slight sway in my life. Fanatsy is always better then living in reality. Anyways around 6th grade I was taken aside by the request of the teacher and one of the most popular kids tutored me on how to act and to drop saying all those big words. I remeber that one whole period was decicated to a group of my peers explaining how i could be better off and more accepted. I followed their advice i became funny and witty and a goof off. I was known as a romantic. While all this was going on my church life was just that CHURCH life. I excelled in all the sunday school class this concept of God wasn't to difficult. And thoughts werent' to complicated. I was known for having a striking faith which is funny considering know looking back it was me simply taking what i had learned and acturally applying it. The bible said pray in faith. I said thats what we should do. But the bible was sitll just a book. Just a story nothing more. This all changed 7th grade on a youth reatreat. Where suddenly the bible became more i was hungry i was thirsty and the passages i had read numours times before took on new meaning. I went back saved and changed. I quickly took my zelot behavior and started talking about christ alot i wasn't afraid to ask students where they were going when they died. I was on fire as only a zelot would be. All the right motives but somtime not thinking it all the way through.
Know we all have demons in are closet witchcraft is one i mentioned to you. Being bisexual is another. I can't begin to describe my distress over this in my life. Allthough i had done a few homosexual acts starting in the 6th grade. Doom and gloom seemed to follow me everywhere that i brought this subject up. Why do people autmaticly assume that because i mention that i'm bi. Somthing it took me a great long time to even mention that i was and come to grips with. That they think i'm not saved. The two matter aren't exlusive from each other but their not dependent on each other. It was the response of the church the institution that i saw that would cause me to run away. I didn't see Jesus when i brought it up. I saw only pain and hurt and confusion. I can't begin to describe the multiple times i thought i was going to burn in hell because of this. I can't begin to tell you the frenzy that i went to make sure my security was placed and i would be ok. I can't tell you how many times i prayed for God to remove it and have it be in such vain.
YOu see for me to accept my sexuality and it's just that it's apart of you. I felt i had to not accept my faith. In the middle of freshman year i came to grips with it. And i was furious at the church and how they acted. YOu think the homosexual agenda will damage the church i tell you do a lot more

[capturedbylove]

i don't really get what you're saying (you WERE bi or gay or you ARE gay)but i know God doesn't approve of homosexuality (if he wanted it to be that way, he would have made adam and adam not adam and eve).
Here's what the bible says about homosexuality:
well in romans 1:26-32, homosexuality is listed as a sin.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10~"Do not be decieved: Neither the sexually immoral nor the idolaters nor the adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexully offenders nor theives nor drunkards norslanders nor swindles will inherit the kingdom of God".
so there's some stuff for the homosexual to think about
God Bless,
capturedbylove