The Modesty Debate

[Kaitlin]

Yeah!That's a great idea. I should add length. And I'm not wearing short or medium length skirts over jeans to be rebellious. The Lord knows that and my heart. I ask His opinion and as long as I'm covered and have a modest heart I'm doing nothing wrong. For Pete sakes I'll add length if you guys would feel better if I did. I appreciate your christian loving advice. I didn't me to be rebellious or sound that way. I'm sorry

Jesus Princess.. you need to guard your body.. you need to be covered..I'm saying this as your loving sister in Christ

[JesusPrincess]

Thanks Kaitlin. I was having a rebellious moment when I wrote that! haha I don't think I'd dare wear anything sensual. I sometimes act before I think. OK, make that always! lol

[Damaris]

Originally Posted by Kaitlin

And I'm not wearing short or medium length skirts over jeans to be rebellious. The Lord knows that and my heart. I ask His opinion and as long as I'm covered and have a modest heart I'm doing nothing wrong. For Pete sakes I'll add length if you guys would feel better if I did. I appreciate your christian loving advice. I didn't me to be rebellious or sound that way. I'm sorry

No one here, that I can see, is suggesting that you're being rebellious, or would lose sleep over the thought of you dressing the way you do. I posted some guys' thoughts on the subject, because I had thought that's what this thread was about, so that girls would know what guys think of their wardrobe as it pertains to modesty.

Now I'm beginning to understand why guys are so hesitant to give their honest answers, because even when girls ask for sincere opinions they do not take kindly to any response that is remotely critical of their choices. *sigh* We say we want to know what we're doing wrong so that we can change, but what we're really saying is that we expect nothing less than a pat on the back because we're already doing it right.

[elim90]

hi there guys, im new to AY. im currently rededicating my life to Christ after years of all kinds of sin. ive never thought about dressing modestly, to be honest with you i used to be the type of girl who would wear a tight top and just leggings, or a short dress or skirt. reading this thread has really made me rethink my dress style. knowing that it has an impact on the people around me, mainly guys. i think i might sell or give my immodest clothes away as wearing them now will make me feel uncomfortable. i just want to say a big thanks to everyone who contributed to this as it has really really helped me on my path with God.

x x

[Damaris]

Originally Posted by elim90

hi there guys, im new to AY. im currently rededicating my life to Christ after years of all kinds of sin. ive never thought about dressing modestly, to be honest with you i used to be the type of girl who would wear a tight top and just leggings, or a short dress or skirt. reading this thread has really made me rethink my dress style. knowing that it has an impact on the people around me, mainly guys. i think i might sell or give my immodest clothes away as wearing them now will make me feel uncomfortable. i just want to say a big thanks to everyone who contributed to this as it has really really helped me on my path with God.

x x

Aww, you're welcome. Welcome to AY!

[dreamergirl818]

Originally Posted by elim90

hi there guys, im new to AY. im currently rededicating my life to Christ after years of all kinds of sin. ive never thought about dressing modestly, to be honest with you i used to be the type of girl who would wear a tight top and just leggings, or a short dress or skirt. reading this thread has really made me rethink my dress style. knowing that it has an impact on the people around me, mainly guys. i think i might sell or give my immodest clothes away as wearing them now will make me feel uncomfortable. i just want to say a big thanks to everyone who contributed to this as it has really really helped me on my path with God.

x x

That's great that you are considering changing your style of dress. I know how hard that can be, but believe me sister, once you've done it, you feel sooooo much better! May I suggest that you just throw the stuff out instead of giving it away or selling it? and in the case of short skirts, you might be able to lengthen them so that they are modest (it's much easier than you think to do that! I have a plan for how to fix a mini skirt, but I've never found one cute enough for me to buy it and try my theory out!). I can help you on alteration plans if you like. I've fixed many indecent things before. In some cases, though, the trash is probably your best option. It's better than giving them to other girls who will dress badly with them. That way you won't appear to be endorsing their style.

To God be all glory!
Elizabeth

[elim90]

yea that would be great if you could help me with the alterations, i had never thought of altering them. im guessing i should just lower the hem a bit? and your right, i should just throw them away, i dont want to endorse immodest clothes. thanks again x x

[JesusPrincess]

What are everyones' views on tops and shirts? I have some really cute tops that are rather low, and look pretty bad with layering. How low should a top be before being classed as immodest?

[Damaris]

Originally Posted by JesusPrincess

What are everyones' views on tops and shirts? I have some really cute tops that are rather low, and look pretty bad with layering. How low should a top be before being classed as immodest?

In my opinion, that's like asking, "How close can you get to a cliff without being in danger of falling off?" The answer is generally "far enough away to be reasonably certain that falling off isn't going to happen."

One way to show yourself how low a shirt really is is to perform this simple test: put on the shirt, find a full-length mirror and bend forward right in front of it with your arms toward the floor as if reaching to pick something up. What's showing down your shirt? That's the view you give to other people without even realizing it. I'm female and even I've been appalled at what I've accidentally seen from this on others. Embarassment for thair sake is geenrally what I feel.

[AliveInHim]

Ravi and I were actually talking about this the other day. We went to a restaurant and saw a girl in there in her 20s or so (college age) that was dressed in a very short skirt and a low top. I just shook my head at the outfit. In a perfect world, it wouldn't matter.

In a perfect world, no one would look at your clothes and judge your character by them. No one would think of you as someone that sleeps around if your clothes don't leave much to the imagination. In a perfect world, your clothes on a job interview won't make or break the job offer. In a perfect world, no man will ever judge you by the clothes you are wearing. No church will care what you have on when you come to worship. The truth is -- this is NOT a perfect world. This world is full of people - imperfect people. I wish it wasn't the case, but people connect clothes with character.

God didn't just give us scripture. He also gave us a brain. That is, he gave us common sense. We should use it. It isn't a perfect world. We cannot expect to walk around with our breasts hanging out and our rear ends visible and expect others not to think ill of us. The world doesn't work like that. Sometimes, I wish it did -- but we have to realize and accept the fact that it just doesn't work like that at all.

We should always have respect for ourselves -- as well as the others that are around us. We wouldn't want to go meet a fiance/boyfriend/husband's family dressed like we are a street walker. It isn't respectful to the family, to our significant other, NOR to ourselves. Most importantly, it isn't respectful to God either.

We are on earth for a short time. We are children of God, and everything that we do is a representation of the fact that the core of our being is the relationship we have with Christ. We are Christ's representatives on earth. What we do should be a reflection of that relationship. Dressing in short skirts or shorts and low tops -- is that a reflection of Christ in our life? Not really -- not at all, in fact.

Besides, back to the entire thing about respecting ourselves -- regardless of the debate about whether someone SHOULD think this way or they shouldn't think this way -- if we dress provocatively -- people UNFORTUNATELY tend to think it is tied to our actions as well. We should respect ourselves enough to make sure that people think the best of us -- that what people THINK of us is who we really are. Why want someone to think that we act in a way that we really do not?

Amanda