Set Free from Bondage

World Changer · 12-18-2005, 09:39 PM

About two years ago I was struggling with many things. First of all, I had massively low self-esteem. I didn't like myself at all. I thought that I was ugly, stupid, that I couldn't do anything right, and that I had no talents or abilities. I thought I was so ugly that I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I have an acne problem and I couldn't stand to look at myself. When I used to go in the bathroom I wouldn't turn on the lights, just my night light so I wouldn't see the pimples. I had no self-respect, no self love, and no self confidence at all.

I was a very rude person and I would always insult people and make fun of them to make myself feel better, but it never did. I also wanted people to accept me very badly; I changed who I was so that people would like me. I didn't even know who I was, I acted differently in front of different people. The person I was in front of my mom or grandma was a different person from who I was in front of my friends. I was fake.

Aside from this I was envoius of my friends because I didn't like myself I wanted to have what they had and to be like them. When you covet what people have and you know you can't have it, that's an awful feeling. This made me even more unhappy with myself. My mom and I would constantly argue and this put up walls between us. I had a bad relationship with my mom and this cut my heart because all I really wanted was to be able to talk to her and be at peace with her but I couldn't be because of my disobedience. The reason we argued is because I never did anything she told me to do. She would tell me to do something and I wouldn't do it until she'd yell at me and order me to do it. I would be on the phone for a long time and she'd tell me to get off and I wouldn't. We had a lot of strife in our home because of our fighting.

I felt very alone because I had no one to talk to about how I felt. No one would understand, no one could relate to me. Loneliness is a horrible feeling and I always felt it. Almost everyday of my life I would think in my mind of everything I disliked about myself and this broke my spirit and I would compare myself to people so that made my low self-esteem worse. I was bound by the lies of the devil about who I really was. I used to cry and cry to God and say how I didn't want to feel like this way and how I wished I could have self confidence and self love. I was afraid I would always feel this way.

I also cared a lot what people thought of me. I was really afraid of anyone disliking me, I wanted them to like me sooooooo much. I was always dwelling on what someone thought of me. This especially became a huge problem when I found out a "friend" of mine was talking about me behind my back with her friends. This not only hurt me badly but it made me paranoid because I didn't even know the people who she was talking about me with. So when I'd walk through th halls at school I'd think that the people around me were talking about me and sizing me. It became horrible for me to walk through the halls.

Another problem I had was a VERY, VERY, VERY, short temper. I would get angry so easily. I was easily offended by little things. I hated this the most about myself because I couldn't control it at all.

All these things bound me like chains. The root of my bondage was fear. Fear of rejection, that I'd always have low self-esteem, that I'd never have a better relationship with my mom, that I'd always dislike myself, amongst other things. The worst thing about all of this was that I actually questione d why I was even born. I felt like I was a nothing and that I'd never be anyhting. I was very depressed.

The day that changed my whole life was saturday, April 8, 2004, the day before Easter. I will never forget this day as long as I live. It was in the afternoon and I was laying on my bed flipping the channels and I came to a channel with these two guys who were standing by a stream in a forest. I only left it there because I had recently lost cable and there was nothing else to watch so I just left it there. These two men were talking to different kinds of people on the street asking them if they they had kept the Ten Commandments. Then they asked them if they had ever lied, stolen, blasphemed God's name, and lusted. All the people said that they had done those things. As they asked them these questions, I realized that I had done all of those things too and that if God judged me I would be guilty of braking them. Therefore, if I died that day I would go to hell. This greatly frightened me. That is when they told the people that if they repented meaning turning from their sin and asking Jesus Christ to forgive that they would be saved.

When the show was over I felt so convicted, I realized that I had sinned against God and that Jesus had suffered on the cross for my sins. He had suffered for the sins I had committed. I fell on my knees and began to cry and I asked God to forgive me of my sins and that I believed that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins and was ressurected from the dead. I immediately felt this wonderful rush of emotions. Love, joy, peace, and freedom. At the time I didn't know why I felt freedom. I now know it was freedom frokm sin. I felt the Holy Spirit come upon me. I was still crying and the tears flowed like a river, it was like my pain and hurt was coming out through the tears.

The TV was still on and another show came on with a man who had a prison ministry. He was talking to a woman in prison and she was giving her testimony and he told her that she was beautiful and he looked at the camera and said you are beautiful you are the apple of God's eye. When he said that I ran to the mirror and looked at myself and said You are beautiful in God's eyes and it doesn't matter what anybody thinks. It only matters what God thinks and He thinks you're beautiful. And I began to cry even harder because I had never thought I was beautiful and I couldn't believe that God did. At that moment I was set free from believing the lie that I was ugly on the inside and the out.

That day God broke the chains of low self-esteem and no self love or confidence. No longer did I believe the lies of the devil about myself but only the truth of who I am in Christ Jesus. It is the truth that set me free. Hallelujah!!! I praise God for coming into my life and saving me and setting me free. From that day on I was never the same. When I went to school on monday, everything and every person looked different. Jesus changed my whole life. I no longer need people's acceptance because God accepts me just the way I am. He loves me just the way I am and has given me higher self esteem and confidence. For the first time in my life I can say that I truly love myself and who I am. I don't care what people think now, I only care what God thinks, and I know He has good thoughts toward me. I no longer insult people to make myself feel better. I just meditate on who the bible says I am. My relationship with my mom is much, much better. We can talk now. Also God set me free of my temper problem as soon as I got saved I have self control. There have only been a few times when I've allowed myself to get angry and I don't know why. But overall, it's not a problem. Hallelujah!!! THANK YOU Jesus for braking the chains that bound me, setting me free, and coming into my life.

I also want to say to any of you reading this that might have low self-esteem to stop believing the lies of the devil about yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no one on this earth like you. God took time to create you, he made everything about you and he loves you just the way you are. You are His masterpiece. God looks at you and sees a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, creative, child of His. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Sorry that it's so long but I just couldn't sum up all that God's done for me in one paragraph.

stellie · 12-18-2005, 11:59 PM

Wow thanks so much for sharing that! It is an awesome testimony!

KeepingTheFaith · 12-19-2005, 03:47 PM

Awesome testimony!

gotvision · 01-08-2006, 03:32 PM

that is soooooooooo awesome...totally get where ur coming from!!! Had the same problems with self-esteem, anger and such until...Guess what?? CHRIST set me FREE!!! yea yea

joy-girl · 01-08-2006, 04:05 PM

Wow, thats so wonderful... I had a lot of similar problems...you can see my testimoney on this section called "Turned my Sorrow into Joy."

Blessings to you sister! All praise to Jesus...

Joy

call on angels · 01-14-2006, 03:11 AM

that was beautiful, thank you so much for sharing it!

Francis2000 · 01-17-2006, 12:50 AM

gotta Love God!

~*LiveByFaith*~ · 01-26-2006, 07:56 AM

That's awesome. God is so wonderful! He can heal even the deepest of emotional wounds. Thank you for sharing!

12-18-2005, 09:39 PM	#1
World Changer World Changer Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Set Free from Bondage About two years ago I was struggling with many things. First of all, I had massively low self-esteem. I didn't like myself at all. I thought that I was ugly, stupid, that I couldn't do anything right, and that I had no talents or abilities. I thought I was so ugly that I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I have an acne problem and I couldn't stand to look at myself. When I used to go in the bathroom I wouldn't turn on the lights, just my night light so I wouldn't see the pimples. I had no self-respect, no self love, and no self confidence at all. I was a very rude person and I would always insult people and make fun of them to make myself feel better, but it never did. I also wanted people to accept me very badly; I changed who I was so that people would like me. I didn't even know who I was, I acted differently in front of different people. The person I was in front of my mom or grandma was a different person from who I was in front of my friends. I was fake. Aside from this I was envoius of my friends because I didn't like myself I wanted to have what they had and to be like them. When you covet what people have and you know you can't have it, that's an awful feeling. This made me even more unhappy with myself. My mom and I would constantly argue and this put up walls between us. I had a bad relationship with my mom and this cut my heart because all I really wanted was to be able to talk to her and be at peace with her but I couldn't be because of my disobedience. The reason we argued is because I never did anything she told me to do. She would tell me to do something and I wouldn't do it until she'd yell at me and order me to do it. I would be on the phone for a long time and she'd tell me to get off and I wouldn't. We had a lot of strife in our home because of our fighting. I felt very alone because I had no one to talk to about how I felt. No one would understand, no one could relate to me. Loneliness is a horrible feeling and I always felt it. Almost everyday of my life I would think in my mind of everything I disliked about myself and this broke my spirit and I would compare myself to people so that made my low self-esteem worse. I was bound by the lies of the devil about who I really was. I used to cry and cry to God and say how I didn't want to feel like this way and how I wished I could have self confidence and self love. I was afraid I would always feel this way. I also cared a lot what people thought of me. I was really afraid of anyone disliking me, I wanted them to like me sooooooo much. I was always dwelling on what someone thought of me. This especially became a huge problem when I found out a "friend" of mine was talking about me behind my back with her friends. This not only hurt me badly but it made me paranoid because I didn't even know the people who she was talking about me with. So when I'd walk through th halls at school I'd think that the people around me were talking about me and sizing me. It became horrible for me to walk through the halls. Another problem I had was a VERY, VERY, VERY, short temper. I would get angry so easily. I was easily offended by little things. I hated this the most about myself because I couldn't control it at all. All these things bound me like chains. The root of my bondage was fear. Fear of rejection, that I'd always have low self-esteem, that I'd never have a better relationship with my mom, that I'd always dislike myself, amongst other things. The worst thing about all of this was that I actually questione d why I was even born. I felt like I was a nothing and that I'd never be anyhting. I was very depressed. The day that changed my whole life was saturday, April 8, 2004, the day before Easter. I will never forget this day as long as I live. It was in the afternoon and I was laying on my bed flipping the channels and I came to a channel with these two guys who were standing by a stream in a forest. I only left it there because I had recently lost cable and there was nothing else to watch so I just left it there. These two men were talking to different kinds of people on the street asking them if they they had kept the Ten Commandments. Then they asked them if they had ever lied, stolen, blasphemed God's name, and lusted. All the people said that they had done those things. As they asked them these questions, I realized that I had done all of those things too and that if God judged me I would be guilty of braking them. Therefore, if I died that day I would go to hell. This greatly frightened me. That is when they told the people that if they repented meaning turning from their sin and asking Jesus Christ to forgive that they would be saved. When the show was over I felt so convicted, I realized that I had sinned against God and that Jesus had suffered on the cross for my sins. He had suffered for the sins I had committed. I fell on my knees and began to cry and I asked God to forgive me of my sins and that I believed that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins and was ressurected from the dead. I immediately felt this wonderful rush of emotions. Love, joy, peace, and freedom. At the time I didn't know why I felt freedom. I now know it was freedom frokm sin. I felt the Holy Spirit come upon me. I was still crying and the tears flowed like a river, it was like my pain and hurt was coming out through the tears. The TV was still on and another show came on with a man who had a prison ministry. He was talking to a woman in prison and she was giving her testimony and he told her that she was beautiful and he looked at the camera and said you are beautiful you are the apple of God's eye. When he said that I ran to the mirror and looked at myself and said You are beautiful in God's eyes and it doesn't matter what anybody thinks. It only matters what God thinks and He thinks you're beautiful. And I began to cry even harder because I had never thought I was beautiful and I couldn't believe that God did. At that moment I was set free from believing the lie that I was ugly on the inside and the out. That day God broke the chains of low self-esteem and no self love or confidence. No longer did I believe the lies of the devil about myself but only the truth of who I am in Christ Jesus. It is the truth that set me free. Hallelujah!!! I praise God for coming into my life and saving me and setting me free. From that day on I was never the same. When I went to school on monday, everything and every person looked different. Jesus changed my whole life. I no longer need people's acceptance because God accepts me just the way I am. He loves me just the way I am and has given me higher self esteem and confidence. For the first time in my life I can say that I truly love myself and who I am. I don't care what people think now, I only care what God thinks, and I know He has good thoughts toward me. I no longer insult people to make myself feel better. I just meditate on who the bible says I am. My relationship with my mom is much, much better. We can talk now. Also God set me free of my temper problem as soon as I got saved I have self control. There have only been a few times when I've allowed myself to get angry and I don't know why. But overall, it's not a problem. Hallelujah!!! THANK YOU Jesus for braking the chains that bound me, setting me free, and coming into my life. I also want to say to any of you reading this that might have low self-esteem to stop believing the lies of the devil about yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no one on this earth like you. God took time to create you, he made everything about you and he loves you just the way you are. You are His masterpiece. God looks at you and sees a beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, creative, child of His. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sorry that it's so long but I just couldn't sum up all that God's done for me in one paragraph.
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12-18-2005, 11:59 PM	#2
stellie stellie just is! Edit Evangelist/Missionary	Wow thanks so much for sharing that! It is an awesome testimony! __________________ "Great faith is the product of great fights. Great testimonies are the outcome of great tests. Great triumphs can only come out of great trials." - Smith Wigglesworth
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12-19-2005, 03:47 PM	#3
KeepingTheFaith KeepingTheFaith Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Awesome testimony! __________________ "I want to know how God thinks... Everything else is a detail." -Albert Einstein
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01-08-2006, 03:32 PM	#4
gotvision gotvision Edit Soldier Fighting 4 JC	that is soooooooooo awesome...totally get where ur coming from!!! Had the same problems with self-esteem, anger and such until...Guess what?? CHRIST set me FREE!!! yea yea __________________ "When people become indoctrinated, they stop thinking" T.L. Osborne
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01-08-2006, 04:05 PM	#5
joy-girl joy-girl Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Wow, thats so wonderful... I had a lot of similar problems...you can see my testimoney on this section called "Turned my Sorrow into Joy." Blessings to you sister! All praise to Jesus... Joy __________________ Sona si latine loqueris!! http://www.therebelution.com/ “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” -CS Lewis
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01-14-2006, 03:11 AM	#6
call on angels call on angels Edit Prophet/Prophetess	that was beautiful, thank you so much for sharing it!
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01-17-2006, 12:50 AM	#7
Francis2000 Francis2000 Edit AY! Newbie	gotta Love God!
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01-26-2006, 07:56 AM	#8
~LiveByFaith~ ~LiveByFaith~ Edit Evangelist/Missionary	That's awesome. God is so wonderful! He can heal even the deepest of emotional wounds. Thank you for sharing! __________________ The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians, who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, and walk out the door, and deny him with their life style. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable. ~Brennan Manning "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." ~Proverbs 3:5-6 Need prayer? Send me a private message and I will be happy to pray for you!
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