Pinkie's Testimony

[pink_fluffy_tree]

I aint ever told any1 my testimony in full so this is a bit hard 4 me, but here goes: my testimony starts from when i was about 7 when was sexually abused by a relative that i trusted and loved very much.After that i stoped trusting any1 , including my parents. didnt tell my parents about it and I guess i sorta blamed them for allowing this person to come and live with us. When i was 9 I started stealing loadza money from my parents and I tried to run away from home because i hated them and thought they didnt care about me cause they didnt notice that something had gone on. By this time i was an angry child and i wouldnt let any1 get close to them.
My life took a turn for the worst when i was about 12. I was already in sexual relationships and I got bullied at school and i started hating myself. I was into solvent abuse, often getting high to forget my troubles, but by the time the effects of the drugs were over, i was back to were i was. I sunk into depression, often slitting my wrist open so i could just feel again. I had now become numb to emotional pain and physical pain was just a way to check that i was still alive. I had always gone to church with my family, but i didnt believe in anything that was said. How could God be real if he allowed this happen to me? I started writing songs and poems just to record my feelings. One of my friends suggested that i should try witchcraft (be a "white whitch") then i remembered that my grandmother was into that sort of stuff as i had once witnessed her talking to the dead when i was 8. But luckily God didnt let me go any further than just reading into it. i got so fed up with life that one day, i attempted to kill myself, but i heard this voice asking "If you kill yourself and God is real, what will He think?" . That stopped me right in my tracks. Things sorta got better for a couple of months, but it all started goin bad again.
When i was 14, my family decided it would be good to go to Spring Harvest, an annual Christian holiday camp , along with the rest of our church. I was just going just to hang with my youth group without the restrictions of a curfew. Boy was i wrong. On the first night i went to SORTED, the youth meeting. About 2-300 were just praising God without a care in the world, i sorta fancied it, but thought it wasnt 4 me. Third night there, a dude who had a walking stick was healed in front of my eyes. i started to as God to show himself to me. i heard the voice that had stopped me killing myself telling me "I love you" and givin me a hug. I opened my eyes but there was no1 hugging me. I just knew it was Jesus and i gave my life to him right there and then.
Life has never been the same. my attitude was changed instantly but it took a while for the rest of me to change. God's still changing me. Life is harder than it was before i met Jesus but i know i dont have to go it alone. I just recently started having flashbacks of my abuse ad i got into a depression again. i could just see myself going back to old habbits, but i held on to my Jesus and he pulled me through it. Praise God. I'm still seeking the strenght to tell my parents about the abuse, but it will happen in God's good time. I'm now so close to my family and have a new set of friends. I still struggle with letting any1 get close to me, but God's slowly changin that. I thank God for everything i have.



Loadza lovin and holy kisses

xxxxx
Pinkie
xxxxx

[PureOxygen]

That's an incredible testimony, I'm so glad you shared that!!
Keep us posted with what's goin on with your walk with Christ. You have a powerful testimony.

Keep praisin!!

[jcdesertvoice]

Wow that is an awesome testimony! God is so good. I enjoyed reading your testimony!