We serve a mysterious God.

onfire4christ · 09-02-2005, 12:10 AM

I did not really know where to put this..so hopefully this is an okay place to put it. I wanted to tellyou guys this because I love you all....and I know you support me. Funny thing is this kind of has to do with Joys vision for AY. Props to your obedience.

A couple of you know whats been going on with me and most of you dont, so I am gonna type it all out here..and this is a lot easier because I probably will never see you..and i know that sounds bad but its so true.

I have been seeing and hearing things that in my heart I knew were not from God. But I had no idea where they were coming from. These things were crazy strange, they were not actually there but in my heart they seeeeemed so real. Often they were terrifying and scary and it always happened when I was alone.

This evening I met with some church leadership. And this is whats gonna be going on with me in the next few weeks..I am going to see doctors and therapists. What I am seeing could be noted as hallucinations with a very spiritual edge. Satan has been trying to exploit and pervert what God has gifted in me but a lot of it has been physical as well (as in a chemical imbalance). I never thought that would be it, but I can definently see that being it.

I was supposed to go on missions in three weeks. And now I am not. This was really hard. This was most on my part of a decision. I have been trying to go on this trip for two eyars now, I have tried hard and I really want it. But I feel so much peace about not going on, I almost feel relieved. Like this sudden burst of joy has just filled me and it makes no sense to my flesh. This is so hard for me...so hard..but I love Jesus too much..and my wholeness as a child of God is probably more important.

The hardest thing is going to be having to face my team...and face my friends..and my family...and the 400 people I have told..I hope I havent failed anyone or disapointed anyone..I dont understand why God is doing this now. And I dont understand how everything can seem to fall into place, then only to fail. And I dont understand why or anything.

But when my leadership, parental and spiritual are all leaning towards the same way and so am I that speaks volumes to me.

Please pray for me.

Ashley

Miss Jessy · 09-02-2005, 12:12 AM

Hey Ash, I just want you to know that i will be praying for you, as I know will the rest of the staff here. I moved the thread for you, hope you dont mind

All HIS Strength,
Jessy
Forum Admin.

jkplayschess · 09-02-2005, 12:16 AM

Ashley, you can count on my prayers! Keep going for God!

jcdesertvoice · 09-02-2005, 03:52 PM

Ashley you know I'm praying for you. And I am proud of you for what you are doing. Stay strong. and Be blessed because you sure are a mighty blessing to to others (especially me)

onfire4christ · 09-03-2005, 11:25 PM

Wow. I think I have been healed. As time passes, we will see even more. But something strange has happened. I definently feel different, I feel free and more alive. I feel so much joy, and peace. When naturally I would be bawling my eyes out and having a pity party right about now. If God has worked a miracle and healed me from all my physical ailments as well as any spiritual attack..praise God!
I havent seen or heard anyfreaky things yet!!!

09-02-2005, 12:10 AM	#1
onfire4christ onfire4christ Edit Prophet/Prophetess	We serve a mysterious God. I did not really know where to put this..so hopefully this is an okay place to put it. I wanted to tellyou guys this because I love you all....and I know you support me. Funny thing is this kind of has to do with Joys vision for AY. Props to your obedience. A couple of you know whats been going on with me and most of you dont, so I am gonna type it all out here..and this is a lot easier because I probably will never see you..and i know that sounds bad but its so true. I have been seeing and hearing things that in my heart I knew were not from God. But I had no idea where they were coming from. These things were crazy strange, they were not actually there but in my heart they seeeeemed so real. Often they were terrifying and scary and it always happened when I was alone. This evening I met with some church leadership. And this is whats gonna be going on with me in the next few weeks..I am going to see doctors and therapists. What I am seeing could be noted as hallucinations with a very spiritual edge. Satan has been trying to exploit and pervert what God has gifted in me but a lot of it has been physical as well (as in a chemical imbalance). I never thought that would be it, but I can definently see that being it. I was supposed to go on missions in three weeks. And now I am not. This was really hard. This was most on my part of a decision. I have been trying to go on this trip for two eyars now, I have tried hard and I really want it. But I feel so much peace about not going on, I almost feel relieved. Like this sudden burst of joy has just filled me and it makes no sense to my flesh. This is so hard for me...so hard..but I love Jesus too much..and my wholeness as a child of God is probably more important. The hardest thing is going to be having to face my team...and face my friends..and my family...and the 400 people I have told..I hope I havent failed anyone or disapointed anyone..I dont understand why God is doing this now. And I dont understand how everything can seem to fall into place, then only to fail. And I dont understand why or anything. But when my leadership, parental and spiritual are all leaning towards the same way and so am I that speaks volumes to me. Please pray for me. Ashley __________________ Ash-- "I would like you to give a message. Please do your best to tell the world what is happening to us, the children. So that other children don't have to pass through this violence."
Status: Offline

09-02-2005, 12:12 AM	#2
Miss Jessy Miss Jessy Edit ~His Beloved~	Hey Ash, I just want you to know that i will be praying for you, as I know will the rest of the staff here. I moved the thread for you, hope you dont mind All HIS Strength, Jessy Forum Admin.
Status: Offline

09-02-2005, 12:16 AM	#3
jkplayschess jkplayschess Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Ashley, you can count on my prayers! Keep going for God!
Status: Offline

09-02-2005, 03:52 PM	#4
jcdesertvoice jcdesertvoice Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Ashley you know I'm praying for you. And I am proud of you for what you are doing. Stay strong. and Be blessed because you sure are a mighty blessing to to others (especially me) __________________ Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every nation for you are a word out of the mouth of God and you will not return unto Him void.
Status: Offline

09-03-2005, 11:25 PM	#5
onfire4christ onfire4christ Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Wow. I think I have been healed. As time passes, we will see even more. But something strange has happened. I definently feel different, I feel free and more alive. I feel so much joy, and peace. When naturally I would be bawling my eyes out and having a pity party right about now. If God has worked a miracle and healed me from all my physical ailments as well as any spiritual attack..praise God! I havent seen or heard anyfreaky things yet!!! __________________ Ash-- "I would like you to give a message. Please do your best to tell the world what is happening to us, the children. So that other children don't have to pass through this violence."
Status: Offline