I feel lost.

soldierforJesus · 06-03-2005, 09:21 AM

I've been feeling really out of it lately. i've been having probs with my boy-friend, (see my post in daughters of Christ), probs with my girl-friends, just life i guess. there's this guy that i know i can trust to tell anything and that he will listen and give me good advice, but in a way i want that to be my b/f. don't get me wrong, i don't want this kid for a b/f, i just feel that the person to help me up should be my b/f, i want him to hold me and tell me he loves me and tell me i'm beautiful, and make me feel special when i feel like crap. but whenever i try to tell him that, or something like that, he never answers me, it seems like he doesn't wat to do that, but he says he still likes me, i just don't know wat's up. so now i feel lost cause i have a guy friend and a b/f, bt i'm like, closer to this guy that my b/f and i don't know wat to do. the friend sitiation is getting better, but it's shakey cause they try to be there, but one of them just doesn't seem to care, she's always saying, well i have problems too, i know that, but sometimes i need a girl to listen to me.

ok, thanks for letting me vent, i'm done for now.

06-03-2005, 09:39 AM

First off, you're only 15... it can be really hard for you at this age [and at any age] to sort out your feelings. You said you want a boyfriend who will hold you, tell you he loves you and that you're beautiful - well first of things should be as far from physical as possible at this age... you're only 15 - I doubt you'll be getting married soon... love and infatuation are two separate things... love is a commitment - are you ready to make a commitment to your boyfriend right now at this age? These two things girls really want... but personally I believe we have to be strong and wait as long as possible until we are married... that's just my opinion and you don't have to agree...

Now, do you feel like you connect with your boyfriend? Is he someone you could consider marrying and spending the rest of your life with? If not - then why are you dating him? Are you dating him just to have a boyfriend? Dating can be fun but if you don't think that he is someone you could get married to then why keep on dating and getting more emotionally attatched... it will just be harder for you both to split up in the end when you both see that things won't work out.

About your friend... try talking to her and letting her know that you know she has problems and when she does you'll be there to listen... but you have problems too and you are going to her because you need someone to listen to you and it hurts when she replys like that. If things still won't work out then I suggest trying to find a friend who will be strong in you - will listen to you and encourage you in your relationship with God.

I hope I helped some... PM me anytime you need to talk.

Ed · 06-03-2005, 05:02 PM

hey love, guys just dont get it do they.... they don't understand what girls want! but hey girls also mature quicker than guys at your age so dont despair when he doesnt seem to care. Either he'll grow up or you'll grow apart, tho it sounds like your already doing that!

As Anna said, really dont push the physical side... And yes it is nice to be told we are beautiful, but one question? Why do you feel you need to be told that? Do you not already feel it and want it affirming? This is where i had to go to God. I had the opposite - my bf kept telling me i was and i wouldnt believe it. But remember you are beautiful and God see's you that way. But its what on the inside that really counts! Thats where true beauty lies!

soldierforJesus · 06-03-2005, 06:53 PM

i called him, ga it was scary. but it all turned out i guess. i said, 'i just wanted to make you sure you still liked me and all, like, i was just getting the feeling that you might not like me nemore' and he was like, 'jenn you know that's not true' and i said, 'ok, i just wanted to make sure things were still ok between us.'

so ya, more lata, i g2g.

Ed · 06-04-2005, 05:34 PM

Dont worry too much about being odd in that you feel insecure.... its def a natural teenage thing to do when learning how to make relationships wiht the opposite sex work - since afterall girls and guys are so very different! see no need to worry.

:Smile:

soldierforJesus · 06-05-2005, 08:07 PM

yea. see he makes fun of me a lot, in a "nice" way i suppose, but sometimes i just get tired of it. i told him that, and he seems to have backked of a little, but that's wat made me think he didn't like me, he might have backed off too much. it's so hard to get ur point across with those men.

06-03-2005, 09:21 AM	#1
soldierforJesus soldierforJesus Edit on Gods mission	I feel lost. I've been feeling really out of it lately. i've been having probs with my boy-friend, (see my post in daughters of Christ), probs with my girl-friends, just life i guess. there's this guy that i know i can trust to tell anything and that he will listen and give me good advice, but in a way i want that to be my b/f. don't get me wrong, i don't want this kid for a b/f, i just feel that the person to help me up should be my b/f, i want him to hold me and tell me he loves me and tell me i'm beautiful, and make me feel special when i feel like crap. but whenever i try to tell him that, or something like that, he never answers me, it seems like he doesn't wat to do that, but he says he still likes me, i just don't know wat's up. so now i feel lost cause i have a guy friend and a b/f, bt i'm like, closer to this guy that my b/f and i don't know wat to do. the friend sitiation is getting better, but it's shakey cause they try to be there, but one of them just doesn't seem to care, she's always saying, well i have problems too, i know that, but sometimes i need a girl to listen to me. ok, thanks for letting me vent, i'm done for now. __________________ No walls - embrace a world as one, where music will guide us, guitars instead of guns. ~Hyde, Mission~ †'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you, plans to give you a hope and a future, and not to harm you.'† ~Jeremiah 29:11~ †Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.† ~Proverbs 31:30~ †Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.† ~Hebrews 11:1~
Status: Offline

06-03-2005, 05:02 PM	#3
Ed Ed Edit Prophet/Prophetess	hey love, guys just dont get it do they.... they don't understand what girls want! but hey girls also mature quicker than guys at your age so dont despair when he doesnt seem to care. Either he'll grow up or you'll grow apart, tho it sounds like your already doing that! As Anna said, really dont push the physical side... And yes it is nice to be told we are beautiful, but one question? Why do you feel you need to be told that? Do you not already feel it and want it affirming? This is where i had to go to God. I had the opposite - my bf kept telling me i was and i wouldnt believe it. But remember you are beautiful and God see's you that way. But its what on the inside that really counts! Thats where true beauty lies!
Status: Offline

06-03-2005, 06:53 PM	#4
soldierforJesus soldierforJesus Edit on Gods mission	i called him, ga it was scary. but it all turned out i guess. i said, 'i just wanted to make you sure you still liked me and all, like, i was just getting the feeling that you might not like me nemore' and he was like, 'jenn you know that's not true' and i said, 'ok, i just wanted to make sure things were still ok between us.' so ya, more lata, i g2g. __________________ No walls - embrace a world as one, where music will guide us, guitars instead of guns. ~Hyde, Mission~ †'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you, plans to give you a hope and a future, and not to harm you.'† ~Jeremiah 29:11~ †Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.† ~Proverbs 31:30~ †Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.† ~Hebrews 11:1~
Status: Offline

06-04-2005, 05:34 PM	#5
Ed Ed Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Dont worry too much about being odd in that you feel insecure.... its def a natural teenage thing to do when learning how to make relationships wiht the opposite sex work - since afterall girls and guys are so very different! see no need to worry. :Smile:
Status: Offline

06-05-2005, 08:07 PM	#6
soldierforJesus soldierforJesus Edit on Gods mission	yea. see he makes fun of me a lot, in a "nice" way i suppose, but sometimes i just get tired of it. i told him that, and he seems to have backked of a little, but that's wat made me think he didn't like me, he might have backed off too much. it's so hard to get ur point across with those men. __________________ No walls - embrace a world as one, where music will guide us, guitars instead of guns. ~Hyde, Mission~ †'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you, plans to give you a hope and a future, and not to harm you.'† ~Jeremiah 29:11~ †Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.† ~Proverbs 31:30~ †Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.† ~Hebrews 11:1~
Status: Offline

06-03-2005, 09:39 AM	#2
Anna Anna Edit Guest	First off, you're only 15... it can be really hard for you at this age [and at any age] to sort out your feelings. You said you want a boyfriend who will hold you, tell you he loves you and that you're beautiful - well first of things should be as far from physical as possible at this age... you're only 15 - I doubt you'll be getting married soon... love and infatuation are two separate things... love is a commitment - are you ready to make a commitment to your boyfriend right now at this age? These two things girls really want... but personally I believe we have to be strong and wait as long as possible until we are married... that's just my opinion and you don't have to agree... Now, do you feel like you connect with your boyfriend? Is he someone you could consider marrying and spending the rest of your life with? If not - then why are you dating him? Are you dating him just to have a boyfriend? Dating can be fun but if you don't think that he is someone you could get married to then why keep on dating and getting more emotionally attatched... it will just be harder for you both to split up in the end when you both see that things won't work out. About your friend... try talking to her and letting her know that you know she has problems and when she does you'll be there to listen... but you have problems too and you are going to her because you need someone to listen to you and it hurts when she replys like that. If things still won't work out then I suggest trying to find a friend who will be strong in you - will listen to you and encourage you in your relationship with God. I hope I helped some... PM me anytime you need to talk.