Up On The Stage

[SkilletChick009]

I was saved about a year ago. My testimony is pretty interesting considering the things that had to happen to get me there. I used to be one of those people who had to see everything to believe it. It was just part of me. I don't know why, but I was very practical, and very "I have to see it to believe it." The church I go to I've went to since I was three years old. The pastor of the church had a daughter that was a little older than me and she and I immediately became good friends. Well when I was 7 or 8 they just announced they were leaving. All of a sudden. Well after that we had pastor after pastor. The would stay for about a year and then they would leave. We had one pastor that stayed for 3 months and then left. It was just utterly repulsive. Finally when I was 11 we got this really young pastor who said over and over, "We don't plan on leaving. We really like it here. We'll be here for a while." I believed them and I got close to him and his wife. I really liked them, and for the first time in my life I understood what God's word meant. His wife and I became VERY close. Well a year went by- they decided they had to leave. They didn't even have a reason, they just left. So two days before Christmas they packed up and left. I had been had struggling with this saddness a few months before they left, and then when they left something happened and I just became down right depressed. My faith completely went away. I remember asking my parents if I could stop going to church because I didn't want to go anymore. Well one day just out of no where my youth leader says, "Hey, there is this singing competition about three hours away in 2 weeks if you want to go." So of course I was like, "Yeah! I want to go." I practiced a song that I often sang in church, but didn't really care that much about because the whole reason I was going to this thing was because it was a singing competition. I didn't care if it was Christian or not it was still singing. Well I got there and I met wonderful people, and I made some best friends. But when I got "Up On The Stage" with the lights blinding me and the eyes of everyone on me I sang my song, "Above All" by Michael W. Smith. I heard the things that it said for the first time. It really made something click off in me that the way I was living my life was going to get me nowhere- literally. A week later I went to visit the friends that I had met at Teen Talent but as I listened to the preacher, "Up On The Stage" it was just amazing to me how much it was all making sense. So that night I got saved. Even with me giving my life to God my depression didn't go away, I just came to the conclusion that it was for His will, and I trusted Him. So I didn't complain. After a while though feeling the way that I did got REALLY old. It just got completely worse, and I just started coming to the conclusion that God ignored me and He didn't care about me or anything that I had wrong with me. So I gave up on Him, and I just completely turned away. Well every year my youth group goes to "Winterfest" and I was excited and everything, but it wasn't because of God it was just because I got to be with all my friends from all over the state. Well the first night we were there I was soo upset, and at 3 o clock that morning I went into the bathroom and cut myself. I guess that was rock bottom, and I prayed right before I went to sleep, "If this is something I need help with, all of this, then show me." I didn't even really think about it the next day but that night at church we were all goofing off and texting each other but Mr. Chris Hill said something that caught my attention and his whole sermon, I say, was for me... It summed everything that I had been going through, up. So that night, the man "Up On The Stage" convinced me to rededicate my life. God has done so many things for me. He's shown me so much, and I will never again doubt His awesomeness... I'm still having a hard time, and these feelings do get old, but I know that God has a plan for me. He's going to take my past, and make it my future. I call my testimony "Up On The Stage" because everything that has got me seeking God was where I was most comfortable, up on the stage, and I could never pick a better place for all my signs to be! Thanks.

Awesome testimony.

I am praying for you daily.

God bless you and yours,
Jess