Jesus is my boyfriend?? Comments,please!!

05-11-2005, 12:02 AM

Hey all!
I'm extremely curious about everyone's opinion on not dating at this age.
I have a few friends who have refrained from dating until they find a husband. No offense meant on anyone who's picked up on this, but it seems like insanity to me. Especially given the fact that we're still teens. I can't grasp how exactly they're going to FIND husbands if they don't date??
Anyhow, I stumbled upon the books "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Letting God Write Your Love Story", and it rekindled my interests. I'd love to hear what anyone thinks!
My friends constantly say, "What better a place to put your relationships but into God's hands?" and "I'm not looking for a boyfriend, I'm looking for a husband."

It'd be great if someone who has actually stopped dating can explain this to me!!

God bless, ><> Vicky

Damaris · 05-11-2005, 04:06 AM

I'd be happy to explain my veiw on it! =D

Frist of all, lets pretend I'm not a christian. (bear with me on this) The reasons I would have to actually date would be...1) I would be looking for love 2) I would want to take all that life can give me 3) I would be looking for a husband.

Ok, so because I am a christian reason #1 is changed because I have found love and acceptance. I am a new creation in Christ, fearfully and wonderfully made, and so I don't need to search for love in boyfriends to make my life feel complete. So yes, in effect, God does become my boyfriend. As for the second reason, I now look at life through an eternal perspective, so I no longer live seeking worldly pleasures.

As for the third reason, I think that was a big part of your question, so I'm starting a whole new paragraph for it. (hehe) I know that it is possible to just be friends until you get married, but that is very difficult and, I think, not very practical in many situations. I am going to date before I get married (if I get married) because I think that is the most practical way to find a husband. HOWEVER, when I do date, it will be with the intention of finding out if we should get married or not. So I will be taking dating very seriously. Pretty much like courting, except for we'll go out like dating. Hmm.

The biggest reason I'm not going to date until I am ready to get married is because that is the point of dating...to a christian at least. To non-christians, the point is usually to have fun, to feel loved, for pleasure, or for a host of other reasons. But as a christian, those reasons to date should no longer be valid. Don't misunderstand me, I don't believe it is wrong to date until you are ready to be married. I do think it is wise though.

Another reason that a christian might have to date that is debatable is a dating relationship to try and convert someone. I believe that is utterly foolish and unbiblical. That is getting off topic though so I won't go more into that.

So to sum it all up...it's pointless to start looking for a husband when you've got a bunch of other things you need to be focusing on. Just be friends with guys until you're ready to get married, then you can start dating your friends that you have a solid friendship with if you think that you might marry one of them. Hmm, that sounded kind of off. Ah well....my brain is fried. I shouldn't answer important things like that this late....

05-11-2005, 08:48 AM

I haven't exactly stopped dating until I find a husband... but I do agree that at my age (15) I am too young to date. I have my whole life ahead of me! I personally don't think I should start dating until I feel I could get married at that age... maybe once I'm 18 or 19 I'll change my opinion but I really don't feel it's necessary to date until you are ready to get married...

Damaris pretty much explained it all

gullivers_travels · 05-11-2005, 06:17 PM

I would say I never started dating, but I've only been out with 2 guys. The first was an experiment because I hadn't dated before and lasted about 4 or 5 months. The second is better: he believes what I believe and we are still going out--Only problem....He speaks Spanish and I...don't. Anyway, I've just been praying about it. If you know me, you know that I don't take dating lightly. Before going out with anyone, I pray about it. The moment I figured out that #1 wasn't for me, I broke it off.
I'm not against dating. However, I am against leading someone on or going out with someone because of the wrong reasons (he has money, a nice car, sex, etc). One thing I've had to realize is that God is my first love. He is everyone's first love. If you think about it, the Bible does talk about the Church being the Bride....
If you want to not date, I don't care. It does make sense, but I don't believe it's for everyone. It makes sense because that is what I do...to a point. I don't follow an interest unless I get a pull from God about him. Some people, all they do is wait until God puts a big neon sign above the person they're supposed to marry. I know someone who did that, and they are so cute; once again, though, it is not for everyone. The best advice I can give you is to pray about everything and wait for an answer.

JCroxmysox · 05-14-2005, 08:08 AM

I read the book IKDG too... I thought it was really awesome, and it challenged me... It wasn't until a month or so after reading it though that God really convicted me in the area of relationships...

I think it's very much a personal decision. E.g. Josh Harris (the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, for anyone who doesn't know) says something about having his first kiss at the altar... Now, ignoring the fact I've already had my first kiss, I wouldn't want to do that. I wouldn't go any further than kissing before marriage, but I would like to reach my wedding day, and know what it's like to kiss my husband!

Currently, I'm in a hard situation. I have a guy friend, who knows me so well. He loves me (as far as I know, just as a friend) We're like best friends. Now, not too long ago, when we really started getting closer, I got really worried. I started liking him as more than a friend. But I just prayed about it. That God would take away the feelings, and rekindle them when / if the time was right. I'm too young to think about marriage at the moment, and that's when I want to "date" - though following a slightly more Biblical principle towards it...

Demaris summed it up really well... But I think it's definately a personal choice. Not just whether or not to date, but how far you should go etc... Personally, I think until I'm ready to consider marriage, I'm too young for it...

05-14-2005, 08:35 AM

Hi,
As someone who is doing courting, I have to say courting is much better than dating. Courting is dating with the intention of marriage. Now dont get me wrong, it still is dating, but there is more restrictions as to what someone can do. There also is less temptations!

Shalom,
Jess

JCroxmysox · 05-14-2005, 09:38 AM

^ Agrees. I'm more in favour of courting than dating, but each to their own really... As long as God is honoured I don't think it matters...

05-14-2005, 09:39 PM

thanks to everyone who voiced their opinions. a lot of what everyone's saying makes tons of sense.
i guess the thing i'm sticking to is the fact that well..if i date, i know that it's going to be with someone i've already become friends with. and anyone who is acceptable as a friend, has become that way because i was attracted to their faith in Christ. i find it's important to have experiences, have that puppy love, and learn through the years of our lives. and i really think i can do this with a strong focus still on th most important thing, the Lord.
that's just my two cents. haha thanks again everyone!

<><God bless

to rach:

i can sympathize with "falling in love" with the best friend. i still have strong feelings for my best guy friend. he's amazing. he loves God and kids, plays the guitar and piano, makes me laugh like noone else, and i can't help but want to date him. but i haven't seen that it's the right thing yet. no worries, God'll send the go-ahead if it's meant to be.

<><God bless

JCroxmysox · 05-15-2005, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by changeme89

to rach:

i can sympathize with "falling in love" with the best friend. i still have strong feelings for my best guy friend. he's amazing. he loves God and kids, plays the guitar and piano, makes me laugh like noone else, and i can't help but want to date him. but i haven't seen that it's the right thing yet. no worries, God'll send the go-ahead if it's meant to be.

<><God bless

Thanks so much. That really encouraged me.

I'm not a patient person by nature, but I'm just trusting God for this one... Giving the feelings to Him (and I have to do it a fair bit!) and trusting that He'll work things out according to His Will...

05-25-2005, 09:42 AM

I had a lot of boyfriends before I was a Christian, so I know how tempting it can be to do something. I don't think that I'll date until I'm older and I'm ready to find a husband.

05-11-2005, 04:06 AM	#2
Damaris Damaris Edit servant	I'd be happy to explain my veiw on it! =D Frist of all, lets pretend I'm not a christian. (bear with me on this) The reasons I would have to actually date would be...1) I would be looking for love 2) I would want to take all that life can give me 3) I would be looking for a husband. Ok, so because I am a christian reason #1 is changed because I have found love and acceptance. I am a new creation in Christ, fearfully and wonderfully made, and so I don't need to search for love in boyfriends to make my life feel complete. So yes, in effect, God does become my boyfriend. As for the second reason, I now look at life through an eternal perspective, so I no longer live seeking worldly pleasures. As for the third reason, I think that was a big part of your question, so I'm starting a whole new paragraph for it. (hehe) I know that it is possible to just be friends until you get married, but that is very difficult and, I think, not very practical in many situations. I am going to date before I get married (if I get married) because I think that is the most practical way to find a husband. HOWEVER, when I do date, it will be with the intention of finding out if we should get married or not. So I will be taking dating very seriously. Pretty much like courting, except for we'll go out like dating. Hmm. The biggest reason I'm not going to date until I am ready to get married is because that is the point of dating...to a christian at least. To non-christians, the point is usually to have fun, to feel loved, for pleasure, or for a host of other reasons. But as a christian, those reasons to date should no longer be valid. Don't misunderstand me, I don't believe it is wrong to date until you are ready to be married. I do think it is wise though. Another reason that a christian might have to date that is debatable is a dating relationship to try and convert someone. I believe that is utterly foolish and unbiblical. That is getting off topic though so I won't go more into that. So to sum it all up...it's pointless to start looking for a husband when you've got a bunch of other things you need to be focusing on. Just be friends with guys until you're ready to get married, then you can start dating your friends that you have a solid friendship with if you think that you might marry one of them. Hmm, that sounded kind of off. Ah well....my brain is fried. I shouldn't answer important things like that this late.... __________________ Let my heart be fixed on Thee My Lord, my life, my love Linger near and gently lead To rapturous joys above.
Status: Offline

05-11-2005, 06:17 PM	#4
gullivers_travels gullivers_travels feels very blessed Edit Apostle	I would say I never started dating, but I've only been out with 2 guys. The first was an experiment because I hadn't dated before and lasted about 4 or 5 months. The second is better: he believes what I believe and we are still going out--Only problem....He speaks Spanish and I...don't. Anyway, I've just been praying about it. If you know me, you know that I don't take dating lightly. Before going out with anyone, I pray about it. The moment I figured out that #1 wasn't for me, I broke it off. I'm not against dating. However, I am against leading someone on or going out with someone because of the wrong reasons (he has money, a nice car, sex, etc). One thing I've had to realize is that God is my first love. He is everyone's first love. If you think about it, the Bible does talk about the Church being the Bride.... If you want to not date, I don't care. It does make sense, but I don't believe it's for everyone. It makes sense because that is what I do...to a point. I don't follow an interest unless I get a pull from God about him. Some people, all they do is wait until God puts a big neon sign above the person they're supposed to marry. I know someone who did that, and they are so cute; once again, though, it is not for everyone. The best advice I can give you is to pray about everything and wait for an answer.
Status: Offline

05-14-2005, 08:08 AM	#5
JCroxmysox JCroxmysox Edit Prophet/Prophetess	I read the book IKDG too... I thought it was really awesome, and it challenged me... It wasn't until a month or so after reading it though that God really convicted me in the area of relationships... I think it's very much a personal decision. E.g. Josh Harris (the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, for anyone who doesn't know) says something about having his first kiss at the altar... Now, ignoring the fact I've already had my first kiss, I wouldn't want to do that. I wouldn't go any further than kissing before marriage, but I would like to reach my wedding day, and know what it's like to kiss my husband! Currently, I'm in a hard situation. I have a guy friend, who knows me so well. He loves me (as far as I know, just as a friend) We're like best friends. Now, not too long ago, when we really started getting closer, I got really worried. I started liking him as more than a friend. But I just prayed about it. That God would take away the feelings, and rekindle them when / if the time was right. I'm too young to think about marriage at the moment, and that's when I want to "date" - though following a slightly more Biblical principle towards it... Demaris summed it up really well... But I think it's definately a personal choice. Not just whether or not to date, but how far you should go etc... Personally, I think until I'm ready to consider marriage, I'm too young for it... __________________ Lord take my broken heart/ Take all of my mistakes Please take all of me/ I want to show great You are xXx RACH xXx
Status: Offline

05-14-2005, 09:38 AM	#7
JCroxmysox JCroxmysox Edit Prophet/Prophetess	^ Agrees. I'm more in favour of courting than dating, but each to their own really... As long as God is honoured I don't think it matters... __________________ Lord take my broken heart/ Take all of my mistakes Please take all of me/ I want to show great You are xXx RACH xXx
Status: Offline

05-14-2005, 09:39 PM	#8
changeme89 changeme89 Edit Guest	thanks to everyone who voiced their opinions. a lot of what everyone's saying makes tons of sense. i guess the thing i'm sticking to is the fact that well..if i date, i know that it's going to be with someone i've already become friends with. and anyone who is acceptable as a friend, has become that way because i was attracted to their faith in Christ. i find it's important to have experiences, have that puppy love, and learn through the years of our lives. and i really think i can do this with a strong focus still on th most important thing, the Lord. that's just my two cents. haha thanks again everyone! <><God bless to rach: i can sympathize with "falling in love" with the best friend. i still have strong feelings for my best guy friend. he's amazing. he loves God and kids, plays the guitar and piano, makes me laugh like noone else, and i can't help but want to date him. but i haven't seen that it's the right thing yet. no worries, God'll send the go-ahead if it's meant to be. <><God bless Last edited by livlife_4Christ; 01-10-2008 at 04:59 PM.. Reason: merging double post

05-11-2005, 12:02 AM	#1
changeme89 changeme89 Edit Guest	Jesus is my boyfriend?? Comments,please!! Hey all! I'm extremely curious about everyone's opinion on not dating at this age. I have a few friends who have refrained from dating until they find a husband. No offense meant on anyone who's picked up on this, but it seems like insanity to me. Especially given the fact that we're still teens. I can't grasp how exactly they're going to FIND husbands if they don't date?? Anyhow, I stumbled upon the books "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Letting God Write Your Love Story", and it rekindled my interests. I'd love to hear what anyone thinks! My friends constantly say, "What better a place to put your relationships but into God's hands?" and "I'm not looking for a boyfriend, I'm looking for a husband." It'd be great if someone who has actually stopped dating can explain this to me!! God bless, ><> Vicky

05-11-2005, 08:48 AM	#3
Anna Anna Edit Guest	I haven't exactly stopped dating until I find a husband... but I do agree that at my age (15) I am too young to date. I have my whole life ahead of me! I personally don't think I should start dating until I feel I could get married at that age... maybe once I'm 18 or 19 I'll change my opinion but I really don't feel it's necessary to date until you are ready to get married... Damaris pretty much explained it all

05-14-2005, 08:35 AM	#6
JesseRBassett JesseRBassett Edit Guest	Hi, As someone who is doing courting, I have to say courting is much better than dating. Courting is dating with the intention of marriage. Now dont get me wrong, it still is dating, but there is more restrictions as to what someone can do. There also is less temptations! Shalom, Jess

05-25-2005, 09:42 AM	#10
alivingprayer alivingprayer Edit Guest	I had a lot of boyfriends before I was a Christian, so I know how tempting it can be to do something. I don't think that I'll date until I'm older and I'm ready to find a husband.