I wrote this poem; kinda sad

Bible_bookworm · 04-27-2005, 10:51 PM

I wrote this poem the other day, and I just wanted to share it.

"I Didn't Cry"
I didn't cry when the phone call came in the middle of the night
I didn't cry when my parents told me the news
Yet I cried when we discussed his death
I didn't cry the day after, nor the week
I didn't cry in the month following his death
Yet as the song came on, I closed my eyes and wept
I didn't cry the day before the first anniversary
I didn't cry that day either
So why, why do I cry now?

Jelliebabies · 04-28-2005, 06:44 AM

thats brill do you mind if i ask who its written about??

MyJoyOverflows · 04-28-2005, 11:22 AM

aww...that is really sad!! *hugs* I'm sorry...great poem though...

04-28-2005, 11:27 AM

I loved (heh, heh) the (tee hee) poem! LOL. (I just had to see if I could pull off one of those lines like Dave Barry does.) Really...You might want to make the point of the poem more obvious. Who was it written about? Who is the "I" in the poem? How did "he" die? And all that...

MyJoyOverflows · 04-28-2005, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WackoGuyFromDownSouth

I loved (heh, heh) the (tee hee) poem! LOL. (I just had to see if I could pull off one of those lines like Dave Barry does.) Really...You might want to make the point of the poem more obvious. Who was it written about? Who is the "I" in the poem? How did "he" die? And all that...

I think that it's nice that we don't know..it leaves something for the imagination...know what I mean?

04-28-2005, 01:01 PM

Yeah I know what you mean. That very same mentality is what makes "modern art" (i.e. puke on canvas) so very appealing. But if you actually want to communicate something, or make a poignant point (no, that's not redundant) then some of those questions have to be filled in. And this is not just my opinion; pick up any writer's handbook or course and you'll find the same thing. If you want to leave stuff to the imagination, then you have a whole barn of tools at hand. Similes, metaphors, and other comparative means were and are still a great way to communicate veiledly and effectively.

P.S. Veiledly is not in the dictionary -- yet.

NeverAlone2820 · 04-28-2005, 01:39 PM

Hey nice poem... Who was it written about?

04-28-2005, 01:51 PM

LOL!!! Hey look, another one!

Bible_bookworm · 04-28-2005, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WackoGuyFromDownSouth

I loved (heh, heh) the (tee hee) poem! LOL. (I just had to see if I could pull off one of those lines like Dave Barry does.) Really...You might want to make the point of the poem more obvious. Who was it written about? Who is the "I" in the poem? How did "he" die? And all that...

The poem was written about a boy I knew who killed himself last December. The "I" in the poem was me. The boy died after hanging himself

NeverAlone2820 · 04-28-2005, 02:20 PM

Aww, i'm sorry to hear that.
One more question: what song?

04-27-2005, 10:51 PM	#1
Bible_bookworm Bible_bookworm Edit Apostle	I wrote this poem; kinda sad I wrote this poem the other day, and I just wanted to share it. "I Didn't Cry" I didn't cry when the phone call came in the middle of the night I didn't cry when my parents told me the news Yet I cried when we discussed his death I didn't cry the day after, nor the week I didn't cry in the month following his death Yet as the song came on, I closed my eyes and wept I didn't cry the day before the first anniversary I didn't cry that day either So why, why do I cry now? __________________ "For nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37)
Status: Offline

04-28-2005, 06:44 AM	#2
Jelliebabies Jelliebabies Edit Prophet/Prophetess	thats brill do you mind if i ask who its written about??
Status: Offline

04-28-2005, 11:22 AM	#3
MyJoyOverflows MyJoyOverflows Edit Prophet/Prophetess	aww...that is really sad!! hugs I'm sorry...great poem though...
Status: Offline

04-28-2005, 01:39 PM	#7
NeverAlone2820 NeverAlone2820 Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Hey nice poem... Who was it written about? __________________ Heroes are made when you make a choice 1 in 12 teens attempt suicide. 40% of teens are cutters. 48% are sexually active. 1 in 10 fifteen year olds have already gone through at least one divorce in their family. 29 people die every 30 seconds. *&& all of us just sit back* and watch it happen. This is our problem.** So let's wake up and change the world - our time is now
Status: Offline

04-28-2005, 02:20 PM	#10
NeverAlone2820 NeverAlone2820 Edit Prophet/Prophetess	Aww, i'm sorry to hear that. One more question: what song? __________________ Heroes are made when you make a choice 1 in 12 teens attempt suicide. 40% of teens are cutters. 48% are sexually active. 1 in 10 fifteen year olds have already gone through at least one divorce in their family. 29 people die every 30 seconds. *&& all of us just sit back* and watch it happen. This is our problem.** So let's wake up and change the world - our time is now
Status: Offline

04-28-2005, 11:27 AM	#4
WackoGuyFromDownSouth WackoGuyFromDownSouth Edit Guest	I loved (heh, heh) the (tee hee) poem! LOL. (I just had to see if I could pull off one of those lines like Dave Barry does.) Really...You might want to make the point of the poem more obvious. Who was it written about? Who is the "I" in the poem? How did "he" die? And all that...

04-28-2005, 01:01 PM	#6
WackoGuyFromDownSouth WackoGuyFromDownSouth Edit Guest	Yeah I know what you mean. That very same mentality is what makes "modern art" (i.e. puke on canvas) so very appealing. But if you actually want to communicate something, or make a poignant point (no, that's not redundant) then some of those questions have to be filled in. And this is not just my opinion; pick up any writer's handbook or course and you'll find the same thing. If you want to leave stuff to the imagination, then you have a whole barn of tools at hand. Similes, metaphors, and other comparative means were and are still a great way to communicate veiledly and effectively. P.S. Veiledly is not in the dictionary -- yet.

04-28-2005, 01:51 PM	#8
WackoGuyFromDownSouth WackoGuyFromDownSouth Edit Guest	LOL!!! Hey look, another one!