Tell me if this is worth fixing up

[Cookiemobsta]

Ok, in my area there's a magazine called Family Magazine. It's mostly aimed to moms, although there's bits for dads too. Most of the magazine is aimed towards parents with younger kids, but they seem to be trying to build readership among parents of teenagers also; they have a "teen activites" section detailing events in the area that are for teenagers and they used to have a column written by guest teenaged writers in the area. They haven't printed the column for the past few issues, but they keep having a section in their magazine telling teens that they can submit columns, so I think they're just not getting any good submissions. Teen applicants are supposed to write about something that's relevant to teens in the area. I'm a teenager and I think I might be able to get published (I'd get 25$ and being published is neat). I don't really know what I could write about that'd be relevant to teenagers so my thought is to just submit something I've already written and just tweak it a bit to make it somewhat relevant. My two possibilites for something I've already written are my piece about the obituaries (Which is elsewhere on this section of AY) and this piece, which I wrote for an English assignment about what the books we've read don't get about teenagers. It's overtly melodramatic but if you think it's worth fixing up, let me know. If you have suggestions for how to fix it up, let me know as well (I'm thinking of changing it to just "this is what parents don't get about teenagers" instead of "this is what books don't get about teenagers".) And if you think it sucks and I should spend my time elsewhere, let me know that too

After awhile, tears lose their meaning. When one cries after a tragic event the tears hold a promise that healing will come in their wake. When anguish becomes a way of life, though, the promise is empty since no healing comes after crying, and, it seems, no healing is possible. There will be no healing in the tears that bathe the faces of thousands of teens tonight. There is a reason that so many teens have adopted despair as their worldview-they have lost hope. They have lost hope that they will ever be accepted, ever be loved, hope that anything will ever change for the better.
It does not matter whether these teens come from a loving home or a broken one if they need to leave home and spend seven hours a day in a school where they are hated. It does not take much for a teen to get hated-generally, they just need to look a bit funny, maybe talk with an accent and dress a bit differently then come into a situation where they know nobody and they are set for the next four years. Even if one manages to get some friends before social circles close and outsiders are targeted there is no guarantee of safety because as soon as one makes a social slip or one’s “friends” need to divert attention from their they will be immediately be expelled by their peers so as not to contaminate the rest.
So what options are left to a teen that has been rejected? They can internalize the pain. Go to school, learn what they need to succeed in the imagined utopia of the “real world” and in the meantime eat their lunch sitting outside the door of their last period class. They can turn to the physical to blot out the pain. Drugs, sex, alcohol, as well as more benign appearing self-medication such as sports (which takes on a malevolent aspect when it becomes all the teen has to live for) take a merciless toll on teens. They can also decide things must be better on the other side of eternity and spent countless afternoons watching blood from their dripping wrist swirl down the toilet, building up their nerve before one day they finally cut too deep.
None of these approaches are going to work for long. Soon the teen will begin lashing out at others, crushing those beneath him and damning them to the same fate. What the works that we have studied do not realize about teenagers is that they are dying inside, and it is because their peers do not care. It really is a scary thought that teenagers today have the power to give life and hope to their despairing brethren, but hold it back in order to get some sick joy out of watching them suffer. What the works that we have studied do not realize about teenagers is that teenagers need Love, and until they find Him, there is no way out for them.

[w.e.g.]

wow, that was very good, like very good. but i don't think that it would get published in a family magazine, they tend to only want to publish good things about kids otherwise people might get upset and then they won't buy the magazine. but all that said that was a very very powerful peice