An Unusual Kind Of Obsession

JesusPrincess · 09-30-2009, 04:53 PM

My relationship with Jesus has been on a steady spiral down hill since I placed something else before Him a year ago. He said not to have other idols, but when you can see something with your physical eyes, and with God you can't, it makes it really difficult.
My obsession (and I mean OBSESSION!) is none other than Michael Jackson. I know this is a very unusual obsession, and slightly disturbing for some, but the reason I love him so much is because he is like (and I don't like to say it) a visible God. I feel really bad about this, and I want to get away from it, but Satan keeps telling me that I'll be OK even though MJ is now gone. I never thought he would die because 'Gods don't die.' This only proved to me that he was in fact human - for a little while at least. Then the next day, I was obsessed with him again.
Why am I obsessed with him? The reason is because out of every human on planet earth, Michael was the person who reminded me the most of me. I know it sounds crazy! And because I could relate to him so much on every level, I let him take the place of God. It got so out of control, that I began talking to him, thinking about him every moment of the day (even in my dreams, he was there!), praying to him

and even to the most extreme thing in my life I have ever done - running away from home. I was so upset about his death, that I wanted to find him in the bush. I was gone for 10 hours or so, the police were called and when I got back at 9 at night, my family was in tears. They had called every person they knew, used Dad's entire phone credit, my uncle and grandparents were there, I distressed my child cousins no end, every one they phoned was praying for me to come home - and I scared them all out of there minds. They all cried when I came home. I had never meant for it to go that far. Ever.
All because I wanted to get close to Michael and bring him back, which only God could do if He so desired.
I am still hooked on Michael Jackson, and need a release from this unusual but critically important addiction. I want to walk in the Light of the Lord again and be one with Him once again. I know this story may sound a bit over the top, and it surely is! My obsession went way over my head, where it then became a life grabbing addiction. Like drugs, I can't stop. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. I don't but I do. You know? I want to get right with God, but don't want to release my hold on Michael. This is ruling my life and is beginning to effect each part of it. I am confused and undecided. Even at times I have thought about suicide (which I am extremely unlikely to do), because I am so confused. I need help. Really bad. I am being pulled by my limbs in each direction and I need to get back with God. PLEASE HELP ME!!

Sweetoffee14 · 09-30-2009, 06:06 PM

I...don't think this is unusual as it sounds. I know many people (at times myself) who have idolised personas, identified with them and found security in that. We're meant to find our identity in God and have a natural desire to do so but if we are deceived and misdirected it's not so surprising it could happen to a person instead. How many girls do you see idolising men, looking for their comfort and security in relationships for example?

My advice is to repent and accept forgiveness, I believe God will meet you where you are at.

I think if you intentionally start walking towards God, giving him more time every day your false god will fall down in comparison and will fade away (Dagon comes to mind, an idol that could not stand in the presence of God - 1 Samuel 5:1-5). I think alot of the time our rational tells us we have to try to force ourselves not to idolise the person, or thing, but by doing that we are still missing the point, we're still focusing on the idol and trying to do it on our own strength. Putting God in his rightful place means everything else will fall into place, so I would say like with any addiction get people around you, to support you, get rid of anything that is a temptation but don't force yourself to change in a day. Look to God and allow him to change your heart and put everything back as it should.

Does that make sense?

TheOtherHalf · 10-01-2009, 12:54 PM

Dear child, have you tried saying these exact words to God in a prayer? We as other christians can offer you support and encouragement, but you need to say these words directly to Him.

In the prayer Jesus laid as an example, it includes us to pray to be free'd from evil. This includes all and any that is spun our way by evil. It advices us in the scriptures to not let anything control us, for this you could pray God to release you from the control you're under. You can pray for God to restore the balance in you. Not just once, or twice, but continuously.

Also, have you considered sharing your distress with your mother? Your family loves you, and is placed there by God for your protection and support, your safety net. You could ask your mother to pray with you, aloud.

dreamergirl818 · 10-01-2009, 04:46 PM

Your thread is most definitely well named

I don't think I've ever met anyone who truly liked Michael before. I frankly think the guy was insane. I don't mean to tear down a person that you like, but there are probably a bunch of things about him that you don't know, and probably ought to know. Here's a link for a mini biography on him: [link removed by dreamergirl] I haven't read it myself, but my sister did at the time of his death, and she came to the conclusion that he was crazy.

But let me tell you one thing: he was not a Christian, so no matter how "good" he may have seemed, he's not someone to look up to. My father describes him as well, let's just say, he called him super creepy. The word he used was "kinky" but I've been informed by someone on her-- bless her heart!-- that it has a different meaning than how he was applying it.

I hope you don't take this wrong. I am not trying to make you feel bad about liking him. I've had plenty of friends who've done that to me when I've been crazy about some performer. I'm just slightly alarmed about how much you seem to like him.

If you want to talk to someone about it, feel free to PM me. I've been through many obsessions myself, so I sort of have a feel for what you're going through.

To God be all glory!
Elizabeth

JesusPrincess · 10-01-2009, 11:17 PM

I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I really didn't need it thrown back in my face. I asked for help, not criticism. I can't help that I love him, it's how I currently am. It's not that I mind that you don't like him, it's how you said it to me that really hurt.
As I said before in my post, I love him so much because I relate to him so much. I expect to be thought of as abnormal because of it, but like I said, I can't help it right now.
And how do you know he wasn't a Christian? Because the internet said so?! We never know what happened in his last few moments on earth.
So please don't judge me. Only God can judge. I know you tried to write with tact and concern, but frankly, it's wasn't tactful. It really hurt me.

Georgia

voiceoftruth · 10-02-2009, 07:47 AM

Hi JP, I was going to hold off on replying because I don't really have any advice for your situation other than to echo the suggestion of direct prayer to God. However after reading you express your hurt I felt more inclined to say something.

While I don't share the same obsession with him that you describe, Michael was someone that I personally held in very high regard. The type of unconditional love and generosity he had was something I related to within myself often, as throughout my life I've been taunted and looked at as abnormal and even stupid for "being overly loving" or "overly generous when I shouldn't be". Frankly, I don't believe the world was ready for someone like Michael, someone with that amount of love who wanted more than anything else to spread it throughout the world, and maybe even one day get it back. Instead there were rumors made up, sick nicknames created, stones being thrown 24/7, and why? Because no one's ever heard of that kind of love before. That must surely mean that it's not normal or right if it's not common, right? It makes me wonder what will happen when God and/or Jesus returns to the earth. Isn't there even a song, "Jesus loves the little children"? So are people going to start a riot and call him a child abuser too? Do I know what went on behind closed doors? No. But I know that Michael believed in God. And he'd been hurt enough in his own childhood to never want to bring that kind of pain to another child. Between those two facts, it's a no-brainer to me that he would never, ever do the awful things he was accused of.

I think that Michael was one of the best earthly examples of the genuine Love that God wants us all to have for one another. But what did we do to him? I know it irks a lot of people when the connection is drawn, but I see a lot of parallels to what happened to Jesus. A genuine, loving man, wishing to spread God's word of love to all mankind, and look what happened.

Again, while my feelings aren't the level as you describe, I just wanted you to know that overall, you're not alone. Michael's death affected me profoundly too, in a lot of ways that I did not even expect. There was a wound across my heart that I had no idea would be there, and it took me weeks to get by, though even to this day some feelings still linger. Listening to some of his music helped me yet hurt at the same time. I never viewed it from the music angle and thus wouldn't group myself into the "fan" category, rather he was an individual that I looked up to for who he was and the ways he demonstrated, even in today's world. When he died, I felt like I'd lost the one person on earth who truly understood the same Love that I did. I felt alone. But his death redirected me toward God in Heaven, literally. Showing me where to pray. Maybe that's the blessing in disguise, for you too.

Hope I've helped some.

Pepper90 · 10-02-2009, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesusPrincess

My relationship with Jesus has been on a steady spiral down hill since I placed something else before Him a year ago. He said not to have other idols, but when you can see something with your physical eyes, and with God you can't, it makes it really difficult.
My obsession (and I mean OBSESSION!) is none other than Michael Jackson. I know this is a very unusual obsession, and slightly disturbing for some, but the reason I love him so much is because he is like (and I don't like to say it) a visible God. I feel really bad about this, and I want to get away from it, but Satan keeps telling me that I'll be OK even though MJ is now gone. I never thought he would die because 'Gods don't die.' This only proved to me that he was in fact human - for a little while at least. Then the next day, I was obsessed with him again.
Why am I obsessed with him? The reason is because out of every human on planet earth, Michael was the person who reminded me the most of me. I know it sounds crazy! And because I could relate to him so much on every level, I let him take the place of God. It got so out of control, that I began talking to him, thinking about him every moment of the day (even in my dreams, he was there!), praying to him

and even to the most extreme thing in my life I have ever done - running away from home. I was so upset about his death, that I wanted to find him in the bush. I was gone for 10 hours or so, the police were called and when I got back at 9 at night, my family was in tears. They had called every person they knew, used Dad's entire phone credit, my uncle and grandparents were there, I distressed my child cousins no end, every one they phoned was praying for me to come home - and I scared them all out of there minds. They all cried when I came home. I had never meant for it to go that far. Ever.
All because I wanted to get close to Michael and bring him back, which only God could do if He so desired.
I am still hooked on Michael Jackson, and need a release from this unusual but critically important addiction. I want to walk in the Light of the Lord again and be one with Him once again. I know this story may sound a bit over the top, and it surely is! My obsession went way over my head, where it then became a life grabbing addiction. Like drugs, I can't stop. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. I don't but I do. You know? I want to get right with God, but don't want to release my hold on Michael. This is ruling my life and is beginning to effect each part of it. I am confused and undecided. Even at times I have thought about suicide (which I am extremely unlikely to do), because I am so confused. I need help. Really bad. I am being pulled by my limbs in each direction and I need to get back with God. PLEASE HELP ME!!

Hey hun, I feel like I can sort of but not entirely relate to what you are saying...I used to feel like I love a certain guy who was also a singer, a guy who actually idolized MJ..I was telling everybody I love him and I would dedicate folders to him get pictures of him.. and do w/e until one day when I was siting down in front of the t.v listening to someone preach a sermon... I felt like God was saying to me, do you love me and I was like of course I do..then after that another whisper touched my ear why do you spend so much time thinking about that guy instead of me if you love me, you meditate on him you always think about him..you tell me how you are jealous because I did this for someone...I want you to be with me...and I was like kk God how can I show you I love you and this voice said get rid of all the songs(I had like probably all that guys songs and I played it day and night and I had dreams to) but ye I was so hesitant I didnt want to but then it hit me hard if God is number one why am I ignoring him...why am I only thinking about this singer and I finally said yes I love you God im done..so I got rid of all his music...about months later he was convicted of beating his girlfriend(not saying MJ beat anybody but, all the guys songs were about respecting a girl and treating her right, like I thought he was the greatest guy that ever existed)...I dont know if it helps but I feel like w/e is standing in between you and God you need to let it go it might be hard but its the right thing to do..I am not forcing you or trying to judge you, I have this advice...ask God to help you...and also I will pray for you and if you like I am here msg me whenever.

09-30-2009, 04:53 PM	#1
JesusPrincess JesusPrincess "..the spirit of childhood is a life I never had and will always dream of." - MJ Edit Evangelist/Missionary	An Unusual Kind Of Obsession My relationship with Jesus has been on a steady spiral down hill since I placed something else before Him a year ago. He said not to have other idols, but when you can see something with your physical eyes, and with God you can't, it makes it really difficult. My obsession (and I mean OBSESSION!) is none other than Michael Jackson. I know this is a very unusual obsession, and slightly disturbing for some, but the reason I love him so much is because he is like (and I don't like to say it) a visible God. I feel really bad about this, and I want to get away from it, but Satan keeps telling me that I'll be OK even though MJ is now gone. I never thought he would die because 'Gods don't die.' This only proved to me that he was in fact human - for a little while at least. Then the next day, I was obsessed with him again. Why am I obsessed with him? The reason is because out of every human on planet earth, Michael was the person who reminded me the most of me. I know it sounds crazy! And because I could relate to him so much on every level, I let him take the place of God. It got so out of control, that I began talking to him, thinking about him every moment of the day (even in my dreams, he was there!), praying to him and even to the most extreme thing in my life I have ever done - running away from home. I was so upset about his death, that I wanted to find him in the bush. I was gone for 10 hours or so, the police were called and when I got back at 9 at night, my family was in tears. They had called every person they knew, used Dad's entire phone credit, my uncle and grandparents were there, I distressed my child cousins no end, every one they phoned was praying for me to come home - and I scared them all out of there minds. They all cried when I came home. I had never meant for it to go that far. Ever. All because I wanted to get close to Michael and bring him back, which only God could do if He so desired. I am still hooked on Michael Jackson, and need a release from this unusual but critically important addiction. I want to walk in the Light of the Lord again and be one with Him once again. I know this story may sound a bit over the top, and it surely is! My obsession went way over my head, where it then became a life grabbing addiction. Like drugs, I can't stop. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. I don't but I do. You know? I want to get right with God, but don't want to release my hold on Michael. This is ruling my life and is beginning to effect each part of it. I am confused and undecided. Even at times I have thought about suicide (which I am extremely unlikely to do), because I am so confused. I need help. Really bad. I am being pulled by my limbs in each direction and I need to get back with God. PLEASE HELP ME!!
Status: Offline

09-30-2009, 06:06 PM	#2
Sweetoffee14 Sweetoffee14 is...shiney and new. Edit Ahvehraage Yoosehr	I...don't think this is unusual as it sounds. I know many people (at times myself) who have idolised personas, identified with them and found security in that. We're meant to find our identity in God and have a natural desire to do so but if we are deceived and misdirected it's not so surprising it could happen to a person instead. How many girls do you see idolising men, looking for their comfort and security in relationships for example? My advice is to repent and accept forgiveness, I believe God will meet you where you are at. I think if you intentionally start walking towards God, giving him more time every day your false god will fall down in comparison and will fade away (Dagon comes to mind, an idol that could not stand in the presence of God - 1 Samuel 5:1-5). I think alot of the time our rational tells us we have to try to force ourselves not to idolise the person, or thing, but by doing that we are still missing the point, we're still focusing on the idol and trying to do it on our own strength. Putting God in his rightful place means everything else will fall into place, so I would say like with any addiction get people around you, to support you, get rid of anything that is a temptation but don't force yourself to change in a day. Look to God and allow him to change your heart and put everything back as it should. Does that make sense? __________________ Stand In faith. In love. In victory.
Status: Offline

10-01-2009, 12:54 PM	#3
TheOtherHalf TheOtherHalf Edit AY! Newbie	Dear child, have you tried saying these exact words to God in a prayer? We as other christians can offer you support and encouragement, but you need to say these words directly to Him. In the prayer Jesus laid as an example, it includes us to pray to be free'd from evil. This includes all and any that is spun our way by evil. It advices us in the scriptures to not let anything control us, for this you could pray God to release you from the control you're under. You can pray for God to restore the balance in you. Not just once, or twice, but continuously. Also, have you considered sharing your distress with your mother? Your family loves you, and is placed there by God for your protection and support, your safety net. You could ask your mother to pray with you, aloud.
Status: Offline

10-01-2009, 04:46 PM	#4
dreamergirl818 dreamergirl818 is going to be 18!!!!! yay! Edit Child of the KING	Your thread is most definitely well named I don't think I've ever met anyone who truly liked Michael before. I frankly think the guy was insane. I don't mean to tear down a person that you like, but there are probably a bunch of things about him that you don't know, and probably ought to know. Here's a link for a mini biography on him: [link removed by dreamergirl] I haven't read it myself, but my sister did at the time of his death, and she came to the conclusion that he was crazy. But let me tell you one thing: he was not a Christian, so no matter how "good" he may have seemed, he's not someone to look up to. My father describes him as well, let's just say, he called him super creepy. The word he used was "kinky" but I've been informed by someone on her-- bless her heart!-- that it has a different meaning than how he was applying it. I hope you don't take this wrong. I am not trying to make you feel bad about liking him. I've had plenty of friends who've done that to me when I've been crazy about some performer. I'm just slightly alarmed about how much you seem to like him. If you want to talk to someone about it, feel free to PM me. I've been through many obsessions myself, so I sort of have a feel for what you're going through. To God be all glory! Elizabeth __________________ Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32 Last edited by dreamergirl818; 10-06-2009 at 06:40 PM. Reason: change something around.... :P.. and remove link
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10-01-2009, 11:17 PM	#5
JesusPrincess JesusPrincess "..the spirit of childhood is a life I never had and will always dream of." - MJ Edit Evangelist/Missionary	I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I really didn't need it thrown back in my face. I asked for help, not criticism. I can't help that I love him, it's how I currently am. It's not that I mind that you don't like him, it's how you said it to me that really hurt. As I said before in my post, I love him so much because I relate to him so much. I expect to be thought of as abnormal because of it, but like I said, I can't help it right now. And how do you know he wasn't a Christian? Because the internet said so?! We never know what happened in his last few moments on earth. So please don't judge me. Only God can judge. I know you tried to write with tact and concern, but frankly, it's wasn't tactful. It really hurt me. Georgia
Status: Offline

10-02-2009, 07:47 AM	#6
voiceoftruth voiceoftruth Edit AY! Newbie	Hi JP, I was going to hold off on replying because I don't really have any advice for your situation other than to echo the suggestion of direct prayer to God. However after reading you express your hurt I felt more inclined to say something. While I don't share the same obsession with him that you describe, Michael was someone that I personally held in very high regard. The type of unconditional love and generosity he had was something I related to within myself often, as throughout my life I've been taunted and looked at as abnormal and even stupid for "being overly loving" or "overly generous when I shouldn't be". Frankly, I don't believe the world was ready for someone like Michael, someone with that amount of love who wanted more than anything else to spread it throughout the world, and maybe even one day get it back. Instead there were rumors made up, sick nicknames created, stones being thrown 24/7, and why? Because no one's ever heard of that kind of love before. That must surely mean that it's not normal or right if it's not common, right? It makes me wonder what will happen when God and/or Jesus returns to the earth. Isn't there even a song, "Jesus loves the little children"? So are people going to start a riot and call him a child abuser too? Do I know what went on behind closed doors? No. But I know that Michael believed in God. And he'd been hurt enough in his own childhood to never want to bring that kind of pain to another child. Between those two facts, it's a no-brainer to me that he would never, ever do the awful things he was accused of. I think that Michael was one of the best earthly examples of the genuine Love that God wants us all to have for one another. But what did we do to him? I know it irks a lot of people when the connection is drawn, but I see a lot of parallels to what happened to Jesus. A genuine, loving man, wishing to spread God's word of love to all mankind, and look what happened. Again, while my feelings aren't the level as you describe, I just wanted you to know that overall, you're not alone. Michael's death affected me profoundly too, in a lot of ways that I did not even expect. There was a wound across my heart that I had no idea would be there, and it took me weeks to get by, though even to this day some feelings still linger. Listening to some of his music helped me yet hurt at the same time. I never viewed it from the music angle and thus wouldn't group myself into the "fan" category, rather he was an individual that I looked up to for who he was and the ways he demonstrated, even in today's world. When he died, I felt like I'd lost the one person on earth who truly understood the same Love that I did. I felt alone. But his death redirected me toward God in Heaven, literally. Showing me where to pray. Maybe that's the blessing in disguise, for you too. Hope I've helped some.
Status: Offline